The Sweet Song of the Shy Child

Posted on February 19, 2012 by

Parenting the shy or anxious child is a series of exercises in letting go. We want to protect our child from the difficulties and pain of the world, yet we know that meeting those challenges is what gives our child the strength to succeed. (To read more, click here.)

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Getting Over Stage Fright: Becoming an Effective Public Speaker

Posted on February 19, 2012 by

Comedian Jerry Seinfield talks about a survey where people were asked about their greatest fears. Death came in at number two, while public speaking was number one. As Jerry put it: “So, if you’re at a funeral, you’re better off being in the casket than giving the eulogy.” How do you feel when you step up to speak or perform? To read more, click here.

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Joining a Support Group When You’re Afraid to Speak

Posted on February 12, 2012 by

The notion of “connecting with community” can be daunting for people with social anxiety.  That’s why it’s extra impressive how Marla Genova has not only started support groups for people with social anxiety disorder, but she’s built them to the point where they are growing and thriving.

To read the full story, click here.

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Shy Girl, Brave Woman

Posted on January 27, 2012 by

As a psychologist, I am frequently inspired by the resiliency people display in everyday life. Through the Internet and the power of social networking, I have met amazing people whose stories need to be told. Let me introduce you to Marla Genova, a woman who has worked hard to confront her own social anxiety, and ultimately, help others do the same.

I first learned about Marla upon reading about how she went to Disneyworld and wore a t-shirt that boldly stated: “ASK ME ABOUT MY SOCIAL ANXIETY.” I had to know more about someone who could confront her own anxiety with such boldness and humor!  She agreed to share her story. To read more, click here.

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Quiet Excitement

Posted on January 23, 2012 by

This week, I feel like a little girl at Christmas, anticipating opening the gift I have been waiting for. Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, comes out January 24. I have already ordered a hard copy and will also be downloading a copy onto my Kindle.

I first became acquainted with Susan through another shyness blog, and I loved her website. I have read her work in the New York Times and in Oprah’s magazine. Susan articulates exceptionally well the importance of introverts and shy people. Her book will contribute greatly to the discussion of how our society loses out by marginalizing quiet people. She argues poignantly that introverts can be powerful leaders with great ideas.

In honor of the launch of her book, I have compiled a list of famous quotes that point to the power of quiet:  To read more, click here.

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Can Willpower Help You Overcome Social Anxiety?

Posted on January 11, 2012 by

Whenever I’ve thought about willpower before, it’s been in the context of not doing something. Like not eating that piece of chocolate cake. Or not having that seemingly essential extra cup of coffee. I associated willpower with deprivation. But I’ve been reading the just-released book, The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Work, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It, by Stanford professor, Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D., and my opinion of willpower is improving.

She’s changed a lot of my assumptions about willpower. For example, willpower is not always about giving something up. Sometimes willpower can help you move toward something. She writes: “Every willpower challenge requires doing something difficult, whether it’s walking away from temptation or not running away from a stressful situation.” That made me think about how people with social anxiety use avoidance (running away) as a coping strategy. We turn down opportunities for social events or public speaking. We refrain from offering our opinions in a meeting. We don’t ask that person we like out on a date. What if we could use willpower (an instinct she says we all have and can learn to increase) to help us achieve our social goals, to move toward a more fulfilling life?

While I highly recommend you read the whole book, here are a few of her willpower tips that I think will help you in your efforts to overcome social anxiety (or any type of anxiety for that matter): To read more, click here.

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A Healthy Dose of Self-Compassion

Posted on January 9, 2012 by

With the start of a new year, many of us are focused on change. We are in a hurry to change our long-ingrained behaviors, and we are quick to berate ourselves when we fall short. Somehow we believe that being harsh with ourselves will motivate us to perform better. Instead, I would suggest we all need a healthy dose of self-compassion. With this in mind, I have gathered the following quotes: To read more, click here.

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